Perfectionism to Perfection!

The Spirit of Independence

Adam was created on the SIXTH Day (Gen. 1:27, 31).  Everything was going well until the serpent entered the garden and brought temptation in the form of words, and according to Jesus, “words are spirit, and they are life (Jn. 6:63)” or death (Gen. 2:17; Prov. 18:21)).  The verbal form of the temptation was: “In the day you eat of it (the forbidden fruit), your eyes will be opened, and YOU will be like GOD (Gen. 3:5),” and the spiritual form or secret NAME of this spirit was “INDEPENDENCE”—“You can DO what you want—BE who you want (be BOSS without consequences).”  When Adam fell for this temptation, the Spirit of Independence came into his heart and forever became part of his/our spiritual DNA, which all his children now inherit.  That’s why parents shouldn’t be surprised when their children resist their help and utter these SIX spiritual words, “I want to do it myself!”  In reality, that Spirit of Independence which Adam first received just affirmed his presence in your child—they/we are born with it.  But whether it grows into perfectionism depends much on the influence of those around your child.  Here is my story:

For as long as I can remember, my father’s critique of whatever I did, no matter how hard I tried to please him, always began with, “What you should have done was…”  If I ever did something right in his eyes, and trust me, there weren’t many, I never heard words like, “Good job,” or “I’m proud of you.”  And at no time, “I love you,” or “I’m glad you’re my son!”  His default response on those almost non-existent occasions when he seemed pleased was, “That’s what you should have done!”

From Independence to Perfectionism

After becoming a Christian at age 35, I forgave my father but had to distance myself from him and his toxicity, to keep my own sanity and mental health.  Then, many years after his death, I realized that my father did love me in his own way, but subconsciously,I was still trying to please him and earn his approval in everything I did; still trying to avoid those inescapable words which now lived in my head, “What you should have done was…”  At that point I had become a full-blown PERFECTIONIST!

The worst thing I experienced as a perfectionist was isolation and loneliness.  Even though I had people around me in most everything I was doing, I usually ended up doing it alone.  While perfectionists often complain that they need help, their mentality (or fear) is that they are the only one who can (or will) do things “right,” which makes it difficult, if not impossible, to find others to work satisfactorily WITH them. 

The PROBLEM—The First Adam’s TEMPTATION: “YOU can make yourself like God!”

In the beginning, the serpent entered the Garden of Eden, to bring the First Adam TEMPTATION to believe they could “be like God,” through disobedience by believing a serpent who gave NOTHING of himself (only deception), to bring DEATH into the world.

Israel, many years later, on their journey to the Promised Land, became discouraged and spoke against God and Moses.  Since they chose to follow their independent spirit and be blind to many serpents (spirits) repeating the same lie of the serpent in the Garden, that God had ulterior motives and could not be trusted, He sent serpents they could see to figure out that serpents never come to help, but to “bite you” (lie to you).  When Israel decided to repent of sinning against God and their leadership, God directed Moses to make a bronze serpent (of metal judged by fire—a type of Christ crucified for our sins) and raise it up on a pole (a type of the cross).  Then, when they stopped looking down at the serpents biting them (their problems) and looked up at the serpent on the pole (seeing their solution—the crucified Christ), they lived (Num. 21:4-9).  Seeing Christ on His cross is the turning point in the midst of our biggest problems!

Eventually, Jesus would enter a world, still suffering and dying from the “bite” of that first serpent in the Garden of Eden.  Soon, He would liken Himself prophetically to that bronze serpent Moses lifted up in the wilderness which saved the people from their sins (Jn. 3:14-15).  God chose a bronze serpent as a prophetic type of Christ because He knew the religious leaders of His day would see Him as a “serpent” (demon possessed), rather than the Messiah. 

Undoubtedly, that serpent in the Garden of Eden represented the full embodiment of SIN in the world.  Then, for Jesus to make full atonement on the cross for all sin, God would make Jesus, who knew no sin, “to be SIN for us (2 Cor. 5:21).”  On the cross, Jesus became the prophetic fulfillment of John 12:32, “And I, if I be lifted up from the earth (as that bronze serpent), will draw all men unto me.”  Jesus also challenged His disciples to “be wise as serpents (Mat. 10:16).”  Remember, wisdom was one aspect of “being like God” that attracted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit (Gen. 3:6).  But, Eve didn’t understand the wisdom she desired doesn’t come by doing natural things like eating fruit, it’s spiritual—it’s a higher wisdom which comes only by faith working through love (Gal. 5:6).

The SOLUTION—The Second Adam’s PROMISE: “I will make YOU like ME!”

The SOLUTION to overcoming the First Adam’s TEMPTATION to think they could “be like God,” through disobedience and works (i.e. eating forbidden fruit) is to receive the Second Adam’s PROMISE: “I will make YOU like me,” through FAITH alone by looking up and believing the bronze “Serpent” (Christ) who gave EVERYTHING of Himself, to restore LIFE to the world.

“If you want to be PERFECT…”

Matthew 19:16–26  16 Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I DO that I may have eternal life?”  17 So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good?  No one is good but One, that is, God.  But if you want to enter into life (as a Jewish beginner), keep the commandments (until you realize YOU can’t).”  18 He said to Him, “Which ones?” Jesus said, “ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ 19 ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”. 20 The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”

 21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be PERFECT (telios – complete, mature), go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and COME, FOLLOW ME.”  22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. 

23 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Assuredly, I say to you that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.  24 And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” 

25 When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?”  26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but WITH GOD all things are possible.” (NKJV)

PERFECTION—by LOVING and FOLLOWING!

Matthew 5:43–48  43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall LOVE your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  44 But I say to you, LOVE your enemies, BLESS those who curse you, DO GOOD to those who hate you, and PRAY for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven (THE PROMISE—You shall “be like God!”) for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.  46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?  48 Therefore (by LOVING) you shall be PERFECT, just as your Father in heaven is PERFECT. (NKJV)

Matthew 4:18–22  18 And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen.  19 Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”  20 They immediately left their nets and followed Him. (NKJV)

Paul told his disciples, “Follow me, as I follow Christ (1 Cor. 11:1).”